Demetri Martin is my hero!
Just a couple amazing quotes from Demetri Martin:
“I remember when I was in school, my teacher said, ‘can you name the presidents?’ I was like, ‘sure, i mean they already have names but if you want me to do that…’
“If you get glitter on you, be prepared to have it on you forever! Glitter is the herpies of craft supplies.”
“I bought a clock and then the big hand broke off it. I didn’t want to through it away, so I just added -ish to every number.”
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